My Love: Mon Amour

Mon amour,

I hope you find this letter and understand every word it encompasses. When you touch it, I hope the letters stitch themselves into a garland and sentences into a bouquet. I hope that you are a keeper and you keep them safe and together. I hope you understand my feelings, but I know you won’t. I will write anyway because my love started within me and will end with me, and you have no obligation to revert the feelings to me.

We met quite some years ago but never really saw each other. We talked for days and nights at a stretch and kept falling for each other, only to realize that we weren’t destined to be together. So, just like that, we gave up on each other. We did not give each other enough time to make us realize that we were enough for each other. We lost hope faster than hope lost its way to us. And we lost each other for the first time.

You gave up on ‘us,’ but I did not give up on you. I want you to know that I kept hope alive even when it failed to keep with. I tried to grab every hay strand I could while it drowned me every time. I have loved you for so long that I do not know what it feels like not loving you. I had dreamt of you on nights when loneliness grabbed my feet, and the thought of you drove my demons away. You were the light of my existence and the dark of my dreams. You were my life.

I belong with you; there isn’t any other way to express it which isn’t strong enough. Words never failed me unless they saw you.

You are incomprehensible, my love. I wake consumed with thoughts of you. You have left my senses in turmoil. You have a strange effect on my heart. Forgive my innumerable faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have been! How gladly could I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness and struggle with all the misfortune of this world to shield you from me? But I cannot. You are a great poem I could not write. You were my failure, the first of many.

Until next time, my love.
Yours today but not forever

Shallu Jaglan