Drunk, Cute and Beautiful

To the boy I look forward to at eleven each night,

I hope this letter outlasts the time we have together and finds you on the last day we see each other. I wish I could read it aloud to you, so you could hear the love in my voice as I try not to cry. Maybe then you would understand how close I came to loving you.

But I didn’t love you. I stopped myself. Love has hurt me more than it has healed me, and I’m not ready to risk that again.

The first time I saw you, you were the most adorable person I had ever seen. You still are. Somehow, all it took was a “hi” from your lovely mouth to make my heart skip.

If I could let myself love you, I think I would have fallen head over heels the day I met you. A warm toned shirt and a smile were all it took for you to steal my heart.

I used to wonder what we would talk about if we ever got the chance. I thought the chances were slim. But you had other plans. You made me feel more at home with you than I had felt anywhere else. You stayed with me when I cried in bed, held me close, and gently stroked my hair until the tears stopped.

You weren’t just a place that felt like home. You felt like home home.

I don’t know how long this will last. Whatever time we have, I know I’ll keep it close, today and always. I’m afraid I can’t give all of myself to anyone. No matter how much I want to, I think I’ll fail. So maybe I shouldn’t try. Maybe I should just breathe while I still can.

We’ve spent nearly a week together, and somehow I still haven’t grown tired of you. Every night, I look forward to 11 o’clock because that’s when I get to see you.

Watching you sleep is one of my favourite things. You look so calm, soft, and beautiful. Waking up beside you is one of the most comfortable things I’ve ever felt.

Let’s keep waking up next to each other while we still can.

With the little piece of home I found beside you,

Yours, for as long as this lasts,
Shallu Jaglan