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Be Your Own Saviour Little Girl

My dear younger self,

I hope you receive this letter someday. I hope that you will become your lifeline in a world where no one makes you feel alive. I hope that when you read this, every word makes sense to you. I hope that when you open this letter, you will be in a better place than you were, making you feel better.

When you were a little kid, you used to be very different. Every stage of life brought the world a new version of you. A version they did not like, a version they did not approve of, and a version they loved a little less every time. You transformed, my love. If only I could tell you that everything that once happened in your life had a reason, I would. You took the journey from being a notorious kid to a scared girl and a lonely teenager. You fought battles that you will never talk about. You deserve a medal for bravery, courage, and love. You have always craved love but seldom got any. You expected the good out of life, and it proved you wrong every time. But that didn’t stop you from believing. You continued to believe that love exists and that it will never be extinct. You are gullible, little girl.

I want to put tons of disclaimers and precautionary measures for you here, but I will not. Because if I do, you will not become who you are supposed to be. You will become a person who is afraid and scared. You will fear love, relationships, and the world. I do not want you to do that. I want you to believe in yourself and do whatever your heart says. I do not want you to listen to anyone because only I know that when you are asked to be an appropriate person and appropriately, you will rebel. And your rebellion will give you courage. You were a born rebel who will take years to find out why. It will take years to finally find ‘the reason’ you have always wanted.

You will break mentally, emotionally, and physically a lot of times but will become stronger each time. I want you to break because it will help you to love yourself. When you have no one pick broken pieces of you, you will learn to do that for yourself. You will be your savior, and you will never want another. You will find every answer within you. You will be your whole world and will not require another one. You will be everything you want to find in others. You will give yourself what the world couldn’t, love.

You will love yourself unconditionally and without any hidden terms and conditions. You will not find anything with an asterisk in your heart. You will break because, deep down, you believe that strong things do break, and they are strong not because they are unbreakable but because they are strong enough to be put together again. Be fearless, little kid. Because the longer you will fear, the longer the world will widen your scope of fears. Do not be afraid of tears because they are signs of your fierce love. You will cry not because you are weak but because you are strong enough to acknowledge that you are in pain. And that, my friend, is the most courageous thing anything can do.

There will always be one thing you will never let anyone know: you are scared of being alone. You fear loneliness. You fear that you will wake up with a shallow heart if you do not find anyone next to you every morning. In the world you live in, everyone is lonely. Everyone is trying to shift the burden of their loneliness onto their companions, thinking that if they do that, they will no longer be lonely. Do not fall into that trap. You will never be lonely because you will always have yourself. Have faith in yourself and do not let go because if you do, you will never return. You are not a coward only because you decided to zip your words that once. You did that because you believed you were strong enough to heal yourself. You did that because you know how strong you are. You are my hero, little girl, and I do not want anything more from you than you have already gifted me. You gave me life, love, and courage.

Be your own savior, little girl
Your older self