Let's Meet Again

My dear self

I hope you find this letter when you live in a world devoid of all hatred and sadness. I wish to see you in a better world that does not hurt but heal, that does not push away but pulls closer, and that does not reject you but acknowledges your differences.

There are days when you cannot seem to find yourself in a room with a handful of people. There are days when the daylight absorbs the vitality and vigor you’ve worked years to gain. There are days when the night sky shatters every inch of confidence you took eons to build. There are days when the sun, the moon, and the stars remind you that you are only a tiny particle of the ever-expanding universe. There are days when the trees no longer offer you their soft shadows. There are days when the earth agonizes you with her rantings about you being a burden. There are days when the world tries to pull you down and forces you to end in a cloud of smoke. These days existed long before you were born, exist while you are alive, and will continue to exist even when you are gone.

It is these days when you need to hold on for a second and let the phase pass. Things must go on the way they are supposed to. Because tough times may last, but the pain doesn’t. Smiles last longer than pain and heal more than wounds.

Sometimes you will wonder why everything had to happen, why you had to break to be whole again. You will forgive them because you deserve peace. You will forgive them because hatred is heavy and you wouldn’t want to torture yourself by holding back that memory they left behind. There’s so much more to life than just panic attacks and crying to sleep, waking up to nightmares, and being devoid of all sleep. Honestly, I know it’s not easy to move on and heal. But I know this storm will run out of rain too; this storm shall pass too.

This will be you letting all of the pain and misery they put you in go because by then, you will know that by holding onto it, you are shattering. This will be you let go of the hatred you’ve been carrying against them in your heart because by then, you will know that by doing so, you are agonizing yourself. This will be you moving on because you will know it’s the best you can do by then.

This is me telling you that they did not break you. This is me telling you that the fear you were in for years is now long gone. This is me telling you that the power and control they had over you is no more, that you are finally moving and ending it once and for all, and that you will live a happy and peaceful life. And that they will no longer be a part of your life, mind, memories, nightmares, and panic attacks.

You will finally move on.

Thinking the best for you, today and always.

Your best friend

Shallu Jaglan